Survey Monkey

Part 1 – Legal Tips: Lawyers

I knew little to nothing about the court system before my husband left. However, as you might relate, I got a quick education.

Current law and the state in which you live have a huge say in each person’s experience when a husband leaves. Although, different factors may be at play in your situation, I wanted to share with you some of the zingers that really caught my attention as I found myself walking on this unexpected road.

My prayer is that some of the information here may be of help to you as you face some of the challenges that lay ahead.



1. Lawyers Are VERY Expensive. That said, I determined that the best idea for me seemed to be to find a very good one. After all, my future and that of my children was at stake for the next 18 years and more.

I remember interviewing lawyers at the beginning that a friend had connected me to from her address book. She was just trying to help, but she really did not know anyone who had used these people before, or anyone who could actually recommend them.

Stack of ChangeThe first lawyer that I phoned said that she did not know what I should do, but she assured me passionately that, if I were to hire her, she would take all the time necessary to figure it out. Well, that did not sound great on my end, especially when lawyers are paid by the hour.

One of the other two names that my friend gave to me was a lawyer who was only familiar with one state’s laws when I needed a lawyer who knew the law for both about the original state we lived in, and the one to which we planned to move. I needed specific expertise.

Then there was the lawyer who did not have a backbone and appeared to be easily pushed around by my ex-husband’s outspoken attorney.

Finally, I found a lawyer with credibility and a proven history for my particular needs. However, I repeat, lawyers are VERY expensive.

Oh, and here is one more tidbit: Changing lawyers can be as easy as changing your physician and is often done, no offense taken. If you find out that for some reason your lawyer is not doing the job for you that you need, then you can enlist the assistance of another lawyer who will take care of all the paperwork for you in making the change. The transition may cause you to incur some additional initial expenses, but know that it is an option.

You have a business relationship with your lawyer and you do not need to feel undue loyalty if your attorney is not getting the job done because of his or her schedule or personality.

Although a lawyer is very expensive, the cost may be worth it in order to establish you well in going forward into your new future.


            How do you jump successfully through all the hoops in the legal system when you do not know the first thing about the law when it comes to divorce? Maybe you have heard stories, or maybe someone close to you has gone through a divorce already. When it comes down to it, each one of us must prayerfully walk the road alone; make important, level-headed decisions about many matters as they come up; and understand what the wide array of consequences mean for ourselves in our particular situation.

            Remember this: God will help you. I recommend that you make it your top priority to ask Jesus to be involved with you each step of the way. Ask for wisdom because God promises that He will give it to you (James 1:5).



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  • Mary

    I found also that many lawyers will give you a 1 hour free interview time so they can learn about your case and you can get a feel for how you will work with them. It’s amazing how much info one can glean in an hour appointment with strategic questions.