Survey Monkey

Part 5 – Legal Tips: More Points

MazeI knew little to nothing about the court system before my husband left. However, as you might relate, I got a quick education.

Current law and the state in which you live have a huge say in each person’s experience when a husband leaves. Although, different factors may be at play in your situation, I wanted to share with you some of the zingers that really caught my attention as I found myself walking on this unexpected road.

My prayer is that some of the information here may be of help to you as you face some of the challenges that lay ahead.



5. Just a Few More Points To Make About The Court System

A further surprise to me was that once a court process has been set into motion, it is often very difficult to legally travel with your children to another state without getting permission from many parties.

Another point to make here is that the judge will often try consider the precedent that the parents have already established in a child’s lifetime and will often try to keep the status quo for the child as much as possible. In my case, we had already been homeschooling our children for a full year, even though they were preschoolers, and I had always been a stay-at-home mom. Therefore, to some degree, the calculations fell in line to support this pattern.

It is always a good idea to do some research on your own and to be clear about the points that you want your lawyer to emphasize in court because no one cares about your case more than you do.

Further, it is not only the finances that must be decided. Holidays and vacations are also stipulated by the court if the parents cannot agree on a schedule on their own. I remember feeling sick as my husband’s attorney began to rattle off to the judge her proposal of the special days that I could or could not see my small children in the future. Again, there is a standard in place that is often the default if the parents do not agree to something else on their own.

Remember this: When you reach an agreement with your ex-husband, whether inside or outside of the court system, it is very important to be very specific about the exact details of what you are both agreeing to. This makes your contract measurable and will prove itself in any future allegations about who is in compliance or not.

So once you settle on a plan financially, along with the other decisions (which may include educational choices for your children, living arrangements, and visitation schedules), 1) Write out the details in the contract and check them carefully to make sure the contract is clear and makes sense, and 2) Make sure you abide by the agreement as much as possible in the future so that you will not be found in noncompliance.


            How do you jump successfully through all the hoops in the legal system when you do not know the first thing about the law when it comes to divorce? Maybe you have heard stories, or maybe someone close to you has gone through a divorce already. When it comes down to it, each one of us must prayerfully walk the road alone; make important, level-headed decisions about many matters as they come up; and understand what the wide array of consequences mean for ourselves in our particular situation.

            Remember this: God will help you. I recommend that you make it your top priority to ask Jesus to be involved with you each step of the way. Ask for wisdom because God promises that He will give it to you (James 1:5).



Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,