I wish that I didn’t have to write this letter.
I wish that the world was right and that no one would ever have to experience the heartbreak that comes with the betrayal of a parent. This isn’t the way it should be. No kid should have to be given the news one day that their father is moving away. My heart knots up when I wonder for how many nights you have already lain awake fighting against the worries that parade across your mind.
I know how you live a divided life between two houses, when neither house is the home where you used to find comfort. I hate to think of how you are put in the uncomfortable position of subtly mediating between the two people who were supposed to protect you, and how you have had to take on responsibilities far too heavy for a daughter to have to bear. I am angry that you were rudely yanked out of your childhood and dunked into cold awareness of the wrong-ness of the world.
I wish that I didn’t have to write this letter, because it means that the trail of lapsed promises and broken hearts has reached another victim. Maybe the hardest part of this whole bizarre scene is that a person whom you used to trust has betrayed your love. When you were little and you scratched your knee, you never imagined that the man who cleaned you up would one day decide to move out of your house. Maybe you feel that this event has shaken everything that you felt was secure.
But, dear daughter, all hope is not lost.
There is One who will never leave you. While you hide your face under your blanket and cry for your lost innocence, you have a Father who is knocking at the door of your heart, whispering, “Let me in to your brokenness.” Let him in! He is the Faithful One who will carry you through the darkest times.
When you yearn for love, he is close to provide it. When you find yourself tangled in a web of difficult questions, he is there to point out the way. When it comes time for you to rise up from the rubble of your broken family to pick up the pieces, he will be there to carry you over the ashes. He cries with you, and he yearns for you to run to him with your tears.
It is a lonely place that you are in right now, but there is one Man who can fully stand here with you. He delights to put an arm around your waist and help you up the rocky slope towards healing, and above all, toward love.
Are you a daughter of divorce? Or will you choose to see yourself as a daughter of God?
It seems like your burdens are too much to carry, but remember that you don’t have to carry them alone. God is enough. Do you believe it? When you invite him to fill those ravaged places in your heart, he will rush in with his hopeful presence to give you peace. His peace gives you strength to walk through another day of uncertainty because you are walking on the certainty of His unfailing love.
And, dear daughter, your pain does have a purpose. You were awakened to the realities of the world perhaps sooner than many of your peers. I am proud of you, because I know that you will rise from this event with maturity and resources that you never knew you had. If you allow Him to come, this time of confusion will press you into deep relationship with the most important person you could know – Jesus Christ. The perspective that you gain will equip you to be a voice to the world on behalf of other suffering daughters and sons.
So, daughter, I welcome you to the ranks of the daughters of God. Cry for the bitterness of the world, hope in your God alone, and rise to your calling.
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleas for mercy!…
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
Psalm 130:1-2, 5-6
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